Tuesday, December 07, 2004 :::
My friend Lus told me once that my one redeeming factor was that I was willing to throw myself completely in for the sake of love.
and I loved him.
completely and without pause.
I still do.
sure there were things that I didn't like about him... and things that I hoped he'd change... and things I hoped I would change about myself.
I miss him.
I really do.
but how can you love someone who doesn't know you?
I spent 2 years hoping he'd learn to love unconditionally. Well that's wrong - he already loved some unconditionally.. just I wasn't one of them. I spent my time hoping that one day I could be completely myself...
and that day never came.
I don't believe in love.
I used to. I used to think that nothing else mattered.
My goal in life was to come home to someone I love, and who loves me.
I'm not so naive anymore.
I love him. But like BoB once said to me... love isn't enough.
Adrian & I fought again.
we're not getting along well lately.
I'm not sure what's gonna happen... but I'm fairly certain it's not what I had hoped for.
*sigh*
::: posted by tinafish at 1:38 AM :::